The consultation came back split down the middle. Just over 250 residents had told us what should happen to a much-loved local building, and the headline wrote itself: the community was divided, fifty-fifty, no clear steer. So, the council decided the building would go up for sale.

Except it wasn’t fifty-fifty. Keeping the building for community use was the single most popular choice picked by almost half of everyone who responded. The “tie” only appeared because we had taken three different “sell it” options and added them together against the one “keep it” option. Bundle the alternatives and almost anything can be made to look like a dead heat. The split wasn’t in the community. It was in the question.

Holding Your Nervous System

There is a moment after conflict when your brain becomes an award-winning scriptwriter.

It produces every sentence you should have said. It rewrites your facial expression. It gives you a devastating closing argument and an imaginary audience who immediately stand and applaud.

Then it turns on you.

“Why didn’t I say that?”

“Why did I agree?”

“Why did I lose my temper?”

“What is wrong with me?”

A seven-part blog series for human organisations.

Each article stands alone. Together, they move from individual regulation to collective responsibility, organisational culture and democratic leadership.

Holding Your Nervous System

A seven-part blog series for human organisations.

We tend to speak about councils as structures.

There are committees, constitutions, statutory duties, standing orders, political groups, officers, members and enough acronyms to create an entirely separate language.

Underneath all of that is a group of human beings trying to work together. Councils are not only legal and political systems.

They are human systems. Human systems have nervous systems.

Each article stands alone. Together, they move from individual regulation to collective responsibility, organisational culture and democratic leadership.

Holding Your Nervous System

A seven-part blog series for human organisations.

Every group of human beings will rupture.

Put people together for long enough and somebody will misunderstand an email, make an assumption, feel ignored, become defensive or say something with a tone they will later insist they did not have.

This does not mean the organisation is broken. It means the organisation contains humans. The health of a team is not measured by whether it avoids every rupture. It is measured by what happens next.

Each article stands alone. Together, they move from individual regulation to collective responsibility, organisational culture and democratic leadership.

Holding Your Nervous System

Somebody says something unacceptable in a meeting.

Perhaps they humiliate a colleague. Perhaps they use a threatening tone. Perhaps they make the sort of personal remark that has no possible connection to the item on the agenda, however creatively they try to link it.

Then the room goes silent. People look at their papers. Someone becomes extremely interested in a pen. Someone else scrolls through a device with the concentration of a bomb disposal expert.

The person being targeted is left alone in a room full of people.

A seven-part blog series for human organisations.

Each article stands alone. Together, they move from individual regulation to collective responsibility, organisational culture and democratic leadership.

Holding Your Nervous System

The meeting is at three o’clock.

Your nervous system begins attending at nine.

There is an item on the agenda. You know the one. You can already hear the tone somebody will use. You can predict the objections, the interruptions and the email that will arrive afterwards explaining why everything is your fault. By lunchtime, you have conducted the meeting seventeen times in your head.

A seven-part blog series for human organisations.

Each article stands alone. Together, they move from individual regulation to collective responsibility, organisational culture and democratic leadership.

Holding Your Nervous System

I am not going to tell you to avoid conflict.

Some things need challenging. Some behaviour needs naming. Some decisions matter too much for you to sit quietly, smile politely and develop a stress-related twitch under the table.

The question is not whether you fight. The question is whether you remain yourself while you do it.

If you have to fight, fight slowly.

A seven-part blog series for human organisations.

Each article stands alone. Together, they move from individual regulation to collective responsibility, organisational culture and democratic leadership.

Holding Your Nervous System

A person in shutdown may also appear calm, but it is a very different type of calm. They may feel numb, distant or strangely absent. They comply because finding the energy to object feels impossible. They stop contributing ideas. They stare at a screen without taking much in. They say yes because no would require a conversation they cannot face.

From the outside, both people may be quiet. On the inside, one is present and the other has left the building. This matters because organisations often reward the appearance of coping….. with more work.

A seven-part blog series for human organisations.

Each article stands alone. Together, they move from individual regulation to collective responsibility, organisational culture and democratic leadership.

When most councils first encountered ChatGPT, it was treated as a writing tool.

You could give it a rather dull road closure notice and ask it to create a social media post. You could use it to tidy a committee report, draft a press release or help you find a polite response to a particularly challenging email.

That alone was useful.

But ChatGPT is changing rapidly.

It can now work across documents, analyse spreadsheets, research information, create reports, produce images and carry out scheduled tasks.

It is moving from being a helpful writing assistant to something closer to a digital colleague.

I recently had the privilege of speaking at the AMO & LLG Monitoring Officer Conference 2026.

As well as delivering my own session, I spent the day listening and learning from experts working at the heart of local government governance.

One of the sessions I attended was The Role of the Monitoring Officer in Unitary Councils, delivered by Bethan Evans of Governance Training and Consultancy Ltd.

During her presentation, Bethan briefly mentioned that town and parish councils are autonomous authorities. It wasn't the main focus of her talk, but it was one of those passing comments that stayed with me.

As I listened, something clicked.

There’s a kind of tiredness that comes from council work that isn’t just about workload.

It’s the email that makes your stomach drop.

The resident who won’t take no for an answer.

The councillor who copies everyone in.

The meeting where something uncomfortable happens and nobody steps in.

Small councils have their own weather systems.

You can walk into a meeting and feel it before anyone says a word.

There is the fog of unresolved tension. The thundercloud of someone who has arrived already annoyed. The icy breeze of a councillor who is “fine” in the way that means absolutely not fine.

Then there is the dazzling sunshine of someone so charming that everyone gets slightly blinded.

The clerk is trying to keep the barometer steady.

The Chair is trying to stop the roof coming off.

I say this with affection, because small councils can be brilliant. They are close to the community. Decisions matter. People care. When things work well, small councils can move quickly, creatively and with real heart.

You might have seen the recent news clip of newly elected Reform UK councillors at Kirklees Council admitting they “don’t understand” how the council works. The footage quickly went viral after councillors openly stated they did not understand standing orders, amendments or parts of the constitution during a meeting to appoint council leadership. This blog explains councils from a psychological perspective.

On the surface, it is routine. The lights go out. Residents report them. They get fixed. Occasionally, someone posts about it online before it is fixed, and occasionally that post is not entirely glowing in tone (no light pun intended)

Across the UK, town and parish councils are being asked to do more to rebuild public trust, lead local partnerships, and stay ahead of rapid digital change. The Future of Councils webinar explored how communication, culture, and technology can come together to create councils that thrive, not just survive.

Trauma isn’t the event. It’s the body and brain’s response when something feels too much, too fast, or too long — and there isn’t enough support to come back to safety.

For many people, trauma sits quietly. It can come from childhood, loss, or even the constant exposure to conflict and criticism that some council staff and councillors face. When safety is uncertain, the nervous system stays alert. It’s trying to protect us, even when we’re sitting in a meeting.

When that state becomes normal, small triggers — a raised voice, a dismissive comment, or a last-minute agenda change — can push people into survival mode. It’s not logic running the show then; it’s the body’s defence system.

I recently worked with a council to create an officer–councillor protocol. What struck me most wasn’t the document itself — it was the conversations it created.

When people think of protocols, they often imagine something dry: a list of rules about who can email whom. But at their best, these documents are really about relationships — how people communicate, how they build trust, and how they handle difference.

In councils, that relationship between officers and councillors is unique. It’s not replicated anywhere else in public life. Councillors bring democratic leadership and vision; officers bring professional and operational expertise. Each depends on the other. But when boundaries blur or communication breaks down, the whole organisation feels it — from internal morale to public confidence.

This article is adapted from the first in a four-part series of webinars on civility and respect in councils for the SLCC. It explores why local government can feel uniquely challenging, how cultural narratives shape behaviours inside and outside council chambers, and what we can do to build healthier, more resilient working environments.